One of the many things we strongly oppose in popular culture is the way that very young girls are dressing. Little girls wear hideously suggestive clothing and apparently their mothers are complicit in this since the children cannot drive themselves to the aforesaid mall and pay for these atrocities themselves.

If this problem can be corrected through the existence of beauty, sensibility and cheeriness then Bekah Merkle has the issue all sewn up. This smiling mother of five lives much of the year in Oxford, England where her scholar husband pores over dusty Hebrew manuscripts. In the summer they return home to their native Moscow, Idaho where Bekah’s parents and siblings all reside.

As if trekking halfway around the world twice a year with five youngsters and 14 suitcases wasn’t enough she also designed and has produced a remarkable little garment for rambunctious little ladies called the “Skirty”. This bloomer makes it easy for energetic girls to be all dressed up and still go play on the swing. Since we at The Complete Woman love dressing up but also love doing more than sitting primly and sipping tea all day, this is right up our alley. In addition to the the useful Skirty, Merkle also designs skirts and dresses for it to be worn under and lovely little tees that are both pretty and practical.

We emailed Bekah a few questions about designing and life and she got back to us with entertaining and informative answers.

We know that the Skirty is brilliant (your website told us so) but when were you inspired to create it? What was the catalyst?

You know, it was actually when my oldest daughter (who is now eight) started school. I had no intentions of making a business out of it. It’s just that I was buying her all of her little school uniform skirts and wondering to myself how on earth this was going to work on the playground! She’s a total little monkey, and I knew that she would be hanging upside down off the monkey bars and jumping off the swings . . . and since she attends a school with a uniform it meant that I couldn’t just pop leggings on her underneath. I realize that the usual solution to this problem is to put the girls into navy blue bike shorts . . . but I just can’t get into that. It just seems so un-feminine and un-cute and generally just un-fun! Honestly, I tried with the whole bike short thing. But they fit so badly, were so high waisted, and just all round appalling in many regards. They pilled even – which is pretty much one of my worst ever clothing situations. I do really abhor a garment that pills. I had to do something else. So I made her a Skirty. She started wearing it . . . and pretty soon I had mothers asking me where I had gotten that thing that Jemima was wearing under her skirt. This showed me two very important things. First, everyone sees what your daughter has on under her skirt! Second, everyone else was having this problem and there were no other obvious solutions on the market.

How and when did you start making and designing clothing?

I think it must be hardwired into me somehow! I have very early memories of trying to design and sew things – I think my earliest memory was a pair of gloves. Needless to say, they did not turn out – but I learned a very important lesson that day about seam allowances! I had just traced around my hand, cut it out, and then sewed it up . . . and then couldn’t figure out why it turned out the size of a cranberry. I felt quite pompously pleased with myself when I realized I should add a seam allowance. I think I felt that this was quite a clever little trick that most people hadn’t figured out. I have no idea how old I was at the time . . . but my mother was already letting me use her sewing machine without her supervision – so it might have been around second grade maybe. My mother was fantastic. She used to save the labels from bias tape and ric rac . . . if you sent in enough labels to the manufacturer they would mail you a whole bag of miscellaneous ends of ribbons and trims. She would just let me use it for doll clothes or whatever crazy creations I decided to come up with. She always bought me fabric when I wanted to do a project – and even told me, “Great job!” when I completely botched up a perfectly good piece of cloth because I insisted on trying to do it without a pattern! She’s an excellent seamstress herself, and she taught me all about it. But then she just let me run with it . . . and ripped out seams for me when I had totally made a mess!

OK – on this one I have to tell you what my husband said in answer to that question! He insisted that my style inspiration is Coco Chanel and the Spanish dancer in the old Zorro TV series. Sadly, I have to admit that I found it a bit hard to argue with him on this point! I would love to take a very high tone and deny it completely, but the truth is that I have long had quite a thing for that Gypsy / Senorita look. Back in the good old days of glove sewing I was quite taken with that particular style and I’m afraid that I may never have gotten totally over it. And, unfortunately proving my husband’s point, one of the skirts in my Spring collection is called the “Gypsy Queen Skirt.” So he basically rests his case! And it’s a bit cliche and overdone and unoriginal to say Coco Chanel isn’t it? But I have to admit that he’s right on that one too. Oh well.

There seems to be so much color in your world; isn’t England supposed to be gray?
As I look out my window right now, (what I can see past the condensation) the world is almost entirely gray! (Or “grey” as the case may be.) But Spring here is unbelievably gorgeous . . . and the color and intensity strike you all the more after going through the gray dreary winter when it’s still pitch black at 7:30 and getting dark again by 3:45! The High Street in Oxford is completely stone. Beautiful architecture of course, but stone everything. Stone street, stone pavement, stone buildings. And there’s one lone cherry tree in front of the University Church, where Cranmer was tried for heresy and CS Lewis preached his “Weight of Glory” sermon. It’s an enormous cherry tree, and it bursts into bloom in the Spring in the most incredible, vivid pink. Somehow the contrast just makes it all the more amazing and you can see it all the way up and down the road. I think the color here – when it comes – is unbelievable.

Whenever the caffeine is flowing! Actually, I don’t quite know when I do it. I sort of fit it in here and there . . . there are a good many late evenings, but there’s never been a Saturday at a coffee house! I basically get a bit done here and there between loads of laundry and piles of dishes . . . and then when there’s a due date it kind of pushes to the front and other things fall off the plate! (Notably laundry.) I keep hoping that one of these days I’ll have a bit more of a system!

Hmmm. Probably the fact that I feel like Oxford is definitely the Bright Lights, Big City! I do realize that most people in the world would think that’s awfully funny. Also the fact that I feel that living without a pickup truck is just as much of a hardship as living without a dryer and a dishwasher! And, self sacrificing martyr that I am, I’ve had to live without all three while in England. (Although, in the interests of honesty, I should state that I do now have a tiny dishwasher and a tiny dryer. Three rousing cheers!)

I have to admit to being a diehard Wodehouse nut. I can really just get into a PG Wodehouse – pretty much any of them. My favorites would probably be /Leave it to Psmith/ and /The Code of the Woosters/ . . . but I can’t help feeling that I’m leaving a whole lot out if I limit it to those two! And CS Lewis of course – you can’t beat CS Lewis. And of course any books by my father, mother, and brother . . . and my husband is currently working on a book for Thomas Nelson called /The White Horse King/ which naturally will be my favorite book of all time after I’ve read it!

Bekah Merkle’s Clothing Site HERE

And her fun blog HERE

We want to encourage women everywhere to reduce the amount of time and money they spend on their appearance. Many women have a morning routine that takes an hour or more and requires dozens of different products. Powders and creams and foundations and liners and blushes and sprays and irons and gels and waxes and cleansers and toners. Here is the naked truth: the more you do, the more you have to do and the less you do, the less you have to do.

Take a moment and look at your makeup collection. How much money does that represent every year? Hundreds? Thousands? Don’t forget the cleansers to remove it or the lotions to repair the damage the cleansers do. Add all that up and think about what you could do with the money if that expense magically disappeared.

Make It Disappear

Now lets work on getting rid of some of it.

The more makeup you usually wear the more people expect you to look made-up. If you normally apply foundation, blush, eye liner and eye shadow, mascara, brow pencil, lipstick and lip liner, then you’ll probably look a little odd showing up to work or school with a naked face. Try reducing your makeup one thing at a time. Try using just the brow pencil (if your brows are quite light), mascara and lip color. Make the shift gradually, using less and less each day and likely no one will notice. Even if they do, remind yourself that you are more than just your face. Your skin will feel better with fewer things caked on to it and you will feel freer to start your day without a long sojourn in front of the mirror.

Wash less, moisturize less. The more makeup you wear, the more cleaning you have to do. As you reduce the amount of makeup you can probably completely alter you cleansing routine. Plain warm water does wonders and then you may only need a light moisturizer or none at all.

The more you process your hair, the more care it needs. There are people who shampoo once or twice a year. And they aren’t living in a commune in the New Mexico desert. They go to work everyday and no one knows the difference. They don’t smell rancid and they don’t look greasy and unkempt. They just let their hair be the hair it was made to be. Not everyone needs to go so very extreme (though if you have very curly or very coarse hair, it might be a good idea) but a reduction in the chemicals you use might be in order. We have already written about not dying gray hair and we would also like to put in a word for not perming. Millions of women make their curly hair straight and millions of other women make their straight hair curly via tons of chemicals and hours of processing. Ever wonder what would happen if all the straight-haired women had curly and vice-versa? Yep. Nothing. There would be just as many permanents sold and just as many straighteners. Love the hair you have. Use the minimum time and the minimum products necessary. Get a wash and wear cut. Let it grow long and learn to love the braid or the ponytail. A simple up-do takes less time than a blowout or other styling.

Stop painting your nails. A simple buffing will make your nails look fabulous without needing much maintenance. Once a week just pull out your buffer for about 10 or 15 minutes and your hands will be fantastic. Compared to repairing chipped polish, getting “fills” or making weekly trips to the manicurist it is obvious what is easier. Not only do you save time but money, you avoid all those chemicals and buffing actually looks much better in the long run.

Go for a brisk walk. Yep. Exercise. It gets the blood flowing, puts color in your cheeks and cheers you up. Far more effective and long lasting than a layer of paint.

These are all choices each woman is free to make for herself but we strongly encourage you to think about what price your routine exacts. Not just the money but the time. The time to perform your beauty rituals and the time to earn enough to fund it. What would you do with an extra 182.5 hours this year? Write a small novel? Go on a trip? Play with your children? Go on more dates? Read a dozen good books? See 90 movies? You could easily add that time to your year by cutting out 1/2 an hour of beauty routine. Think about it.

Walking

We had a very active friend once suggest “if you are sitting, stand, if you are standing, walk and if you are walking, run” and while this does not always work, there is a lot of truth there.  If you and a friend are sitting and chatting over coffee, why not take it to go and walk around?  If you are out walking with your kids why not race the last few hundred yards home and get that extra boost of energy as well as burn a few more calories.  Instead of sitting down to chat with a coworker why not have the conversation standing?  When you go to the store, park in the first space you come to rather than looking for one closer; you will save gasoline, time and lose a bit of what you don’t want.  All of these little things will make you feel a little more energized at the time and burn a few more calories than their alternatives.

More Walking

And there are slightly bigger changes that we can suggest. If you live within a mile and a half of a grocery store or a coffeehouse then we suggest patronizing them at least occasionally and walking to and from your destination. This distance is quite doable for all but the most sedentary and is actually a very fun activity. If you are a busy mom you can take an hour to yourself or you can take the kids with you and let them burn off some of their excess energy. If you like books on tape it can be a way to get away and listen to them. If you are in a romantic relationship it can be very good together time for simple talking and closeness without an expensive restaurant bill or being distracted by electronics.

Biking

Bicycling is another bigger step that can still be very easy. Most Americans already own a bike even if it isn’t a ridiculously fancy one. All one really needs is the bike , a lock and a helmet. If your trips are under 5 miles you can go easy and not get all sweaty like Lance Armstrong and you don’t have to be super-dedicated to reap some benefits. If you like to go downtown on Saturday mornings for coffee, or a farmer’s market or to shop with friends then skip the parking problems and bike down. If you are going to cycle even semi-regularly then someone in your household is going to have to learn the basics of bike maintenance. We will be posting a tutorial soon so you can check back for that or go down to your local bike shop and get tips there.

We understand that none of these suggestions are revolutionary nor do they promise “30 pounds in 30 days” or anything of the sort. But what they do promise is that they will be really easy to implement and they will readily become part of a more active lifestyle.

One of the under-sung rites of passage in a woman’s life is the graying of her hair. Blondes might have more fun but gray heads are eternally symbols of wisdom. Some gray young at 25 or 30, others wait until they are well into their 60s before the lighter color takes over. American culture is a little hesitant about gray hair and what it symbolizes but we have never seen a naturally gray head without loving it’s beauty.

Silver or iron or white, they are all more distinctive and more beautiful than their bottled counterparts. One caveat: we do understand that the transition from blonde, red or light brown to gray can be a bit awkward and need some chemical assistance. Still we would like to insist that natural gray is better than any of the artificial alternatives available.

Before going gray for good, we suggest discussing styles and maintenance with your hairdresser but we guarantee that gray will be easier and less expensive to maintain than colored hair. More beauty, less money, who could complain?

Every woman who has had the opportunity to experience one generally enjoys the luxury of a manicure or a pedicure. It is relaxing to have a technician both give one a hand or foot massage and make one more presentable. As this is a luxury not all of us can afford one on a regular basis and even if we can, we may deem it unnecessary, it is helpful to learn to do so for oneself.

We, at The Complete Woman recommend pampering oneself with a simple, easy to maintain routine. Bright or bold polishes are only for the toes. On the fingernails they are too attention grabbing, hard to coordinate and laborious to maintain. For fingers, we recommend a simple buffing as it is the most ladylike finish but if you insist on polish please go with a smooth pearly pink or a subtle french manicure (no bright whites!)

The most attractive and low maintenance finish to ones fingernails is a simple buffing. After a shower or bath when your skin is soft gently push your cuticles down and clean and trim your nails to a moderate and uniform length. Use a simple 1 2 3 buffing file to smooth and shine your nails. This will only take about ten to fifteen minutes and can be done while perusing a blog or two or while watching a movie with your spouse.

The toenail is generally a bit harder to keep attractive. Buffing is an option there too or you can apply a medium to dark polish. It is best to go with something at least approaching neutral if you intend to wear sandals and not re-polish for each outfit but the toenails are the perfect place for truly playful colors. Again, after your ablutions gently trim the nails and push down the cuticles. If you apply polish, do so in two coats and a good polish will last several weeks before needed to be maintained. Little smudges or streaks are scarcely noticeable on a toenail so obsessing is unnecessary.